~My mom calls me~
Mom: What are you doing?
Me: On my laptop... You?
Mom: I'm on my way home to pick up to pick up my bratty daughter who's having cravings. Even though she's not even pregnant. Or better not be pregnant or else I'm going to beat the crap out of her.. Or doing anything to get pregnant.
Me: No one would want to do anything with me!
Mom: Well... This is true.