i just wanted to crawl into a tiny hole
pull the covers over my head and rest my eyes for a while.
to give my racing mind permission to crash into a cozy dream.
a dream where all of this would stop being too much for me.
a breeze became a stong blow and the strong blow became a hurricane.
rain drops that showered down intermittently now greet me as downpour.
learned habits and mirrorred expressions became a wall between me and everyone i loved.
i just wanted to put this all down for a while.
not put it in someone else's hands or rest it on someone else's shoulders.
just put it on the ground, let it gather dust and revisit it when i'm stronger.
Dudu*