Today when me and my mom were at the
grocery store, we went by the soda's... Mountain Dew was on sale; the little
bottles in the 8 pack thing. I put them on the rail of the grocery
cart... Just like I would have when My dad was alive. Then the
flash back hit me- whenever me and my mom would go to the grocery
store we'd get two large pack things of mountain dew. I said to
my mom; "Hey look, dad's still alive." Because it
seemed like I was 4 years younger, at the store with my mom getting
dad the mountain dew that would disappear within that week. Then my
mom said; yeah, but he'd be like- 'what the heck do you
want me to do with these doll?' (doll was my moms
nickname) she said then; but if I said that you picked it out
he'd be like 'Ohhh okay, I'll drink it then(:
'
And that's what hurt me the most and what kicked in... the pain
struck me that I was daddy's little girl... And I'll never-
ever be able to come to him for advice... I'll never be able to
go downstairs and lay with him until I fall asleep... I'll
never get that chance for him to walk me down the aisle... even if
I'm marrying a girl. I'll never be able to go to him and
just be held until I'm okay and cry on his shoulder. I'll
never be saved from being yelled at for a stupid reason, and I
won't ever be stood up for when my brother makes fun of me....
I will see girls with their dads on father's day, and wish I
had the same thing. I regret ever being disrespectful to my dad
because when my mom said that sentence at the grocery store, it
punched me in the face that I was HIS little girl and he'd do
ANYTHING for me...
When I heard some of my friends talk about how "mean"
their dad's are for making them do a little bit of housework, I
want to go up to them and say how lucky they are to have a dad. But
I couldn't because I know they'd never listen, or
understand how it is to be 15 and not have a dad... I would trade
this life I have right now to bring back my dad... Just for one
night to see him, and to hold him and to cry on his shoulder... But
that will never come...
