Witty Profiles

abbfab99

1. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   May 30, 2013 4:55pm UTC
   People laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same.
   -Kurt Cobain
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
2. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   May 12, 2013 7:10pm UTC
   Shoutout to the Moms of
   Zac Efron
   Channing Tatum
   Ryan Gosling
   Bradley Cooper
   Justin Timberlake
   For creating these beautiful creatures
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
3. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   April 19, 2013 9:16pm UTC
   Me: I really want a thigh gap
   Me: *goes into straddle position*
   Me: Much better.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
4. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   April 13, 2013 5:11pm UTC
   Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh has the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
5. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   April 3, 2013 5:41pm UTC
   I think we should legalize marijuana in this country, so potheads have nothing to talk about ever again
   -Daniel Tosh
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
6. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   March 31, 2013 11:17pm UTC
   The guy you just called g/y
   Likes c/ck in his butt
   The girl you just called fat
   Weighs 600 lbs.
   The man you just called stupid
   Had to repeat 2nd grade 5 times
   The girl you just called a wh/re
   F/cked the entire football team
   Sometimes you're right.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
7. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   March 30, 2013 8:57pm UTC
   I wasn't part of the old witty, but hearing everyone else talk about it makes me wish I was.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
8. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   March 30, 2013 8:55pm UTC
   Whenever you get really bored do you ever go on a website you use to go on as a kid like Club Penguin, Webkinz, etc.?
   Just me?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. abbfab99
   posted a quote
   March 25, 2013 1:45pm UTC
   What a lovely winter we're having this spring.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
10. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 19, 2013 3:38pm UTC
    Oh you're a professional singer? What's your record label? The shower?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
11. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 17, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    Me: Hey Mom, wanna hear what we did in jail today?
    Me: Sorry, I meant school. I can't really tell the difference.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points
12. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 14, 2013 10:49pm UTC
    Need something to laugh at? Long, but worth it.
    One year my math teacher (he had different students at this time) heard that a student was going around saying there was going to be a pop quiz that day. There was no pop quiz, but that day he went home and made two different pop quizzes. One said, "This is a fake quiz. You can make look really easy or really hard, but just make it look like you're doing the quiz." The second quiz was the same exact quiz, but with real directions. My math teacher teaches 7th and 8th grade, but this quiz had 11th grade math on it. He handed the real looking quiz to the kid saying there was a pop quiz yesterday. That kid started crying. My math teacher was forced by the other students to tell the turth. This story made my day.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
13. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2013 9:52pm UTC
    Teacher: *talking about their personal life*
    Me: Do I get extra credit if I pretend I actually care?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2013 9:29pm UTC
    Spencer?!?!
    How could you?!?!?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
15. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 12, 2013 6:05pm UTC
    Shoes: Where water can enter them whenever it's raining, but it never can leave.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
16. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 9, 2013 8:48pm UTC
    Does anyone else feels like tags is Witty's way of hashtags?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
17. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 9, 2013 8:45pm UTC
    Chocolate: That's a nice white shirt
    Chocolate: It would be ashamed...
    Chocolate: If something....happened...to it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
18. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 8, 2013 10:23pm UTC
    You asked me what was wrong I wanted for dinner
    I said nothing,
    but as I turned around...
    I whispered everything.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
19. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 8, 2013 3:54pm UTC
    Divers should just use a bag of Lays for air.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
20. abbfab99
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    Teacher: Turn to page 394 in your textbook.
    Me: *randomly turns to page 394*
    Me: *turns to friend*
    Me: Hey Ali
    Ali: Yea..
    Me: I think I'm the next baby Jesus
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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